By: Chris – California
NEWS ITEM: Two Fox journalists kidnapped by militants two weeks ago in Gaza are freed on August 27, 2006
Fable: Brainstorming in a Jihad Think Tank
Somewhere in Gaza, in a Jihad Think Tank, the brightest and the best of Islam are pondering how to fulfill Allah’s commandment to have everyone accept Islam.
“Let’s just tell everyone, ‘We forgive you, we hold no grudges, we want to resolve our differences and live side by side in peace.’ ”
“No. Let’s form a new group with a name that will get everyone’s attention – Let’s call it the Holy Jihad Brigades – That way they will know we are very devout.”
“No. Let’s kidnap some people. Everyone is doing it these days, and that’s the only way to get good media coverage.”
“No. Let’s kidnap some people and say we’ll kill them in 72 hours if they don’t release all the women in prison in Israel.”
“No. Hamas already tried that, and it didn’t work. Let’s kidnap some Americans and say we’ll kill them if the U.S. doesn’t release all the Muslim prisoners in the U.S.”
“You mean at Guantanamo?”
“No, ALL the Muslim prisoners in America.”
“That could be thousands. You mean people like the snipers John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo who murdered 10 people at random in the Washington, D.C., area in 2002?”
“Whatever. Remember, we’re just trying to convince Americans to accept Islam.”
“O.K., so what if the U.S. doesn’t cooperate, are we going to kill the hostages on TV or something?”
“No. That’s been done before, and killing people for no good reason might give Islam a bad name. Besides, the television stations never really show the throat-cutting anyway, and it makes a terrible mess to clean up.”
“I know. Why don’t we convert the hostages to Islam? Then we can film them saying that Islam is a religion of peace and they believe Islam is the true path. They’ll surely show that on all the networks.”
“But what if they don’t want to convert?”
“No problem. We’ll force them to convert with our guns and knives. The same way, we can get them to say great things about Islam.”
“Great idea. We should get some people who are good with words – maybe some TV journalists. There are always a few of them around trying to show OUR side of the conflict. That would make a great news clip – these guys declaring their faith in Islam.”
“Then what?”
“That’s when we release them – ‘cause they’re not much value to us after that.”
“But what if they go public, denounce Islam, and say they were converted under duress?”
“Well, if they leave Islam, then we can KILL them!”
“Allahu Akbar!”
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